I turn my head as he looks back at me. Did I just blow it? I feel my cheeks heat up and immediately regret even being here.
I stuff my Swiss Roll into my mouth and throw my trash away. I stand up and walk to the bathroom as fast as I can.
I close the stall door and sit on the dirty ground and lock my hands around my neck.
"Stupid, stupid." I whisper to myself. It had been at least a month since Devan had broken up with me. I don't know if he knew I still loved him. Maybe? I did stare at him like a psychopath.
I get up off the ground and open the door. I catch myself in the mirror and notice my tear stained cheeks. I wipe them and splash cold water on my face. I don't need to be like this. I shouldn't be like this. He doesn't love me anymore and I should accept that.
After fifteen minutes of pacing in the bathroom, I finally leave and sit in the school garden. The quiet peacefulness of the water running for the plants was nice. I closed my eyes and took the vibrant smells. Was this okay? Am I okay?
Other people are sitting in the garden, too, and their voices are calming as background noise. I look up and catch glimpse of Devan and a girl; they're laughing. I get up and walk away. This isn't my place and that's okay.