I miss you everyday, everyday that passes I always think of you grandma. I honestly wish I could have visited you more often but I couldn’t due to COVID. Then living far was so hard. When I heard you got sick it made me so sad and made me think, “ what was next”! I hated having that feeling of what would happen next. With you health depleting and my mom updating me every five minutes on the phone just made me more worried. I really wish I had more control at that point in my life but I didn’t.

The last words you spoke to me was desire,” come back and visit me more”! I honestly regret not visiting you grandma for those 7 harsh month of being scared of giving you COVID, but I did what I thought was best. When I was hurt and sad when you passed away, mom was never their in that point of my numbness of losing you. It hurt me so much. I had Adam and the kids to speak with on my feelings and well how they felt but, mom was just not there. I really wish I had a supportive system at that point besides my family at home, some one or people that I could explain better about the pain I was going through.