The Fake Number
The Fake Number dating stories
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davidfarr
davidfarr Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Jeremy met a pretty girl last night. When he goes to text her the next day, he realizes she gave him a fake number. This is the text conversation that follows.

The Fake Number

Hey it's Jeremy. It was great meeting you last night :-)

Stranger: Sorry

S: Looks like she gave you a fake number.

J: noooooooooooooo

S: yesssssssss

J: but she was so into me!

J: maybe she typed it in wrong. she was pretty drunk

S: overcoming denial is the first step

J: what's the second step?

S: jerking off, i guess.

J: shit I mixed up the order

S: maybe i can help you figure out where you went wrong.

S: what did you guys talk about?

J: Fortnite mostly

S: what's that?

J: uhh only the most popular video game in the world. do you live under a rock?

S: oh you guys talked about video games? And her panties didn't drop on the spot?

J: you're not being very helpful

S: Sorry

S: Maybe it wasn’t anything you said. What if you're just hideous?

J: actually I've been told I look like a young Kevin Bacon

S: have you ever danced in a town that forbade it?

J: I don't think so. Dancing is still legal in Portland, right?

S: ooo

J: what?

S: I live in Portland. Maybe we're next-door neighbors

J: Are you a seventy-five year old Colombian lady?

S: no

J: a partially blind black man?

S: yes

J: oh well your dog keeps pooping on my lawn

S: I was just kidding Jeremy. It isn't me. That isn't my dog.

J: thanks for clearing that up

S: so what did this girl look like? what was her name?

J: Amber. blonde, long legs, big boobies

S: interesting. so is that your type?

J: i don't have a type

S: ooo i guess that means I'm still in the game

J: I didn't know you were playing.

S: i'm not.

J: :-(

S: i'm not gonna invest my heart into this, Jeremy. I'll just end up getting hurt. I know how this goes.

J: you do?

S: Yes. After meeting up at a local restaurant, we instantly fall in love, get married, have six or seven children.

S: But then one day, when you stop off for a drink at the bar, you see her: Amber, big boobs and all, standing in the corner. The one that got away.

J: OMG do we have an affair?

S: no. you're too honest of a guy for that. but when you come home that night, something's different. You're not the same Jeremy I loved and adored.

S: You're sitting there, having dinner, ignoring our seven kids as you think about what could have been. If only Amber had given you her real number...

J: are you sure we fall in love? i don't even know what you look like.

S: i'm super hot.

J: what color hair?

S: does it matter?

J: i have a right to know the hair color of my seven children

S: brown

J: thanks

S: you wanted blonde kids, didn't you?

J: no!

J: one more question

S: shoot

J: what's your name?

J: you already know mine

S: i'll give you a hint. it starts with a D

J: Delilah?

S: can you imagine? that stupid song.

J: hey there! I like that song.

S: I see what you did there

S: and I'll just tell you my name since you're never gonna guess

S: It's Drew

J: ooo like Drew Barrymore. Can I call you Drew Barrymore?

S: no

S: so...

S: do you want to meet up or what?

J: seriously?

S: lol yeah

J: okay let's do it

J: name the time and place

S: 10 o'clock at Rage?

J: LOL isn't that a gay club?

S: yeah

J: wait...

J: you're not a...

S: a man?

S: yeah is that a problem?

S: you said you didn't have a type

J: shit

J: I'm so sorry dude.

J: I'm not really into guys

S: hahaha

This is Amber.

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