Random Guy: who dis?
Dan: The guy you just punched at Starbucks
RG: how'd u get this #?
Dan: You left your backpack.
Dan: I have a bloody nose dude
RG: tbh u had it coming
RG: U fucked my girl
RG: She told me everything
Dan: don't know any Rachel
Dan: and I haven't had sex in 2 years...
RG: My bad bro
RG: thought it was you
Dan: Do I have a twin brother I don't know about?
RG: my girl said dude's name was Dan
RG: saw it on your cup
Dan: lol forreal?
Dan: it's a pretty common name
RG: my bad TTYL man
Dan: this isn't really a "my bad" type of situation dude
Dan: might have to call the cops
Dan: pretty self explanatory
RG: don't be such a pussy Daniel
RG: this is why it's been 2 years
Dan: I'm actually getting over a serious breakup
Dan: which doesn't happen overnight
Dan: not that it's any of your business...
RG: see u don't know how to let stuff go
Dan: OMG seriously?
RG: she's gone, Daniel
Dan: stop calling me that!!!
Dan: because no one calls me that
RG: well if they did we wouldn't be in this mess