before it was bad, but now it's worse



before it was bad, but now it's worse nebulacontest2 stories
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darkestmind
darkestmind feelin' better ~ i felt your love <3
Autoplay OFF   •   5 days ago
for @silver_nebula 's contest

before it was bad, but now it's worse

then:

we would sneak into miss rio's apartment after curfew

we would sneak into miss rio's apartment after curfew served in twos her gluey brownies

we would sneak into miss rio's apartment after curfew served in twos her gluey brownies eyes on the time to leave before the crowns search our street

we would pack to be drafted

we would pack to be drafted sitting duck soldiers

we would pack to be drafted sitting duck soldiers needed at home to feed siblings and fight foreclosure

in june

in june we pretended our lives were bliss

in june we pretended our lives were bliss problems didn't exist

in june we pretended our lives were bliss problems didn't exist only frigid lake water to soothe our scars

in june we pretended our lives were bliss problems didn't exist only frigid lake water to soothe our scars and wash the blood from our fists

beaten and abused

beaten and abused scorned and accused

beaten and abused scorned and accused bruised beyond skin

beaten and abused scorned and accused bruised beyond skin and confused on the purpose to live

beaten and abused scorned and accused bruised beyond skin and confused on the purpose to live but willing to smile for the kids and pretend in moments we could laugh through our ribs

now:

all i see is fire

all i see is fire all i smell is smoke

all i see is fire all i smell is smoke all i hear are screams

all i see is fire all i smell is smoke all i hear are screams all i taste is my own blood

all i see is fire all i smell is smoke all i hear are screams all i taste is my own blood all i'm touching is dead grass from a hill as a city burns

it wasn't a home,

it wasn't a home, not like one should be

it wasn't a home, not like one should be with warm beds and food

it wasn't a home, not like one should be with warm beds and food and love

it wasn't a home, not like one should be with warm beds and food and love but seeing it ablaze is almost sad

a hiraeth of memories

a hiraeth of memories longing not to lose nights so cold we hugged ourselves to sleep for body warmth

a hiraeth of memories longing not to lose nights so cold we hugged ourselves to sleep for body warmth or games of dirt we passed time with in the streets

a hiraeth of memories longing not to lose nights so cold we hugged ourselves to sleep for body warmth or games of dirt we passed time with in the streets making fun of authority to make ourselves feel better

i'll miss what we had

i'll miss what we had at least sometimes

i'll miss what we had at least sometimes and when i think back to this place

i'll miss what we had at least sometimes and when i think back to this place i won't see ashes

i won't see the fire we started

i won't see the fire we started i'll smell homemade brownies

i won't see the fire we started i'll smell homemade brownies i won't hear us begging for mercy

i won't see the fire we started i'll smell homemade brownies i won't hear us begging for mercy and i won't taste the saliva guards spit in our faces

i won't see the fire we started i'll smell homemade brownies i won't hear us begging for mercy and i won't taste the saliva guards spit in our faces i'll feel the frigid lake,

i won't see the fire we started i'll smell homemade brownies i won't hear us begging for mercy and i won't taste the saliva guards spit in our faces i'll feel the frigid lake, stealing the air from our lungs with it's chill

every second

every second every day

every second every day for every casualty

every second every day for every casualty we had a home

every second every day for every casualty we were a home

every second every day for every casualty we were a home i will remember us

june 15, 2021 ~ darkestmind

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