where
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dakoteeeerssometimes overly emotional
Autoplay OFF  •  7 months ago

where

by Dakota

where can i scream that i miss you

where can i moan that i need you

where can i whisper that i love you

i'd do it in your ear

only

you're not here

you're gone

where can i say that i'm proud of you

you are so good

achieving your dreams

but god it hurts

so where can i cry to relieve the pain

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
The pain was a palpable extant cry. You brought the reader into the raw discomfort of the suffering first person. We have no idea of why this happened, only that it did. As such you were able to isolate the torment. Great piece!!

LostInMyDreamsCommabassadorDelving deeper into the unknown
7 months agoReply
This was touching. I like that you were able to use so little words but make such a big impact on the reader. The emotions were strong, and it your writing flowed so well. Great job!