Achiever since preschool. Certificates, medals, plagues... You name it, I gained it. I was always associated with diligence, intelligence and all those flowery "-ence" words.
It was not my choice. It was not what I wanted. It is not what I ask for. And as much as others wanted to be like me, I begged to differ. Everyone seems to expect too much.
I was not perfect. I was no different from them. I was not better than them. I was not happy when I was treated special. I felt that I didn't belong.
Truthfully, I am grateful for these gifts. But I wonder why these gifts make me feel that I do not deserve them. I see people with more potential than me and yet, they stop trying when I'm encountered.
Why do they quit? Am I the reason? If this is what the fruit of "achievement" is, what good is it? How can I tell them they don't have to stop because it's me?
What I truly want is these beautiful people around me to be comfortable with me...not threatened. I don't want to be seen as another type of competition. I don't want to compete. I'd rather be known as a great friend than an achiever.
I frown when I'm misunderstood. I sulk when I'm labeled. But I smile when I'm invited to join in something fun. I only wish to spend more time and make more memories with all of them.
If I would get a medal for anything, it would be for being your friend. That would be my greatest achievement.