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Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago


by crystalisedsaha

Don't fucking tell me that I need God Don't fucking tell me He's waiting for me to let Him into my heart And don't tell me He loves me regardless of my decisions I don't want Him anymore

Because I have looked I have searched for God until I was blue in the face Until my lungs were deflated Until a miracle might have been necessary to bring me back

I have looked in the bottom of every damn bottle In the lines in my wall when I was puking my guts up In my blurry vision when I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe

In every nightmare that left me shaking

I have searched in every possible fucking corner of the this horrific freak show of mine And I found him every Goddamn time Every. Single. Time.

I found no solace in his presence No angels started singing And I certainly haven't seen the light I'm still wading through the shitstorm he left in his wake

So yeah,I've found God He may not be yours But He is sure as Hell mine And I know I've been better off since we parted ways

I am no longer filled with a sense of dread every time I open my eyes I see clarity, or confusion, instead of a fucking lie I don't cherry pick the parts of me that I want to keep

And the people I speak to answer the fucking phone

So don't fucking tell me I need God Or that He’s waiting Or that He loves me You haven't even fucking met Him

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a year ago

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a year ago

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
I was expecting you to slow down and take a sharp 90-degree turn. But you kept on keeping on. You maintained the courage of your convictions. I understand the problems with all the platitudes. You do need reality to hang on to if you are having some kind of substance abuse problem. It appears that you reached down deep inside and pulled out some strength and courage. My oldest son had an addiction to everything problem. He could never get is head around the 12 step program because of the God hustle. Keep on writing that way people who are gentle and caring will be around to answer you. I think you showed yoourself for being a courageous fight who will heal themselves. I loved your ranting poem. It was incredibly honest. Great work!!!!