Ever slept with a cold heart for a warmer night?
Somewhere from inside my heart, a guilty conscience asked. I had no replies. All of my heart still longed to believe the warmth of his heart like his touch.
And then to my own surprise, a meek voice inside my head murmered yes. That's when I understood reason was not dead inside me.
A small sane part of me had analyzed and deduced my act into one of foolishness and ignorance in the ground things lay...
While my heart could ignore the coldness of his heart and soul with the heat and chaste of his kisses and muse, my reason lay awake of the ground
At a point my heart stopped, tired of working for two, delivering the love of two, and everything was clear.
He could say making love in sanity, but in the euphoria from our synced movements, all he could utter was fuck. I flinched at the wild violent word, but said nothing & swallowed an escaped tear
When she thought of asking the vitals was exactly when he banged into her with violent sounds she couldn't enjoy anymore while she grimaced in the excruciating pain of his violence.
She screamed in pain and annoyance, but he was a master of hearing what he wanted. He heard a moan . A sensual moan. He used it as a weapon to fuck her again.
So along with his mutterings that sounded vile to my ears, he fucked and fucked and fucked until I couldn't feel myself. I could still hear his excitement and encouragement.
But somehow they failed to arouse me or entertain me. They disgusted me. His scent, which now only smelt lust suffocated me.
But my love for him made me mute. My heart was dying in pretending and overriding, but it was still yearning for a word. A word he no longer used for me.
Not even to say making love, would he say love for me. The capacity of my willing ignorance was running out. I could forgive him for taking my bodily innocence . But...
How would I forgive him for fucking up my soul. This was not what I signed up for . I was follied by his words and my heart but no more.
Inorder to escape this triumph I should free my soul.