but then something changed, someone convinced her to break down some of that wall. he was so charming, seemed so kind. it started out as friends. out of their group, they were the closest.
he wore her down, finally asking her to be with him. she dodged it at first, pushed him away. she knew nothing good would come out of this, she knew that. but he just kept trying. so she gave in.
she agreed to let her guard down for him, she let him in. and it was blissful. for a couple of months, things were wonderful. then things started to change.
she felt as though she was becoming a convenience for him, not that he actually cared, but she was nice to have on his arm, fun to have around when it was fit for him. she saw him less and less.
and then one night, he went out with his friends and he got too drunk. now this isn’t the first time she’s dealt with this, she knew one wrong move and she’d be in for it. never physical, just with words.
she expressed her discontent for his drinking, his always lying about where he is, who he’s with, and the times he’s said he’d be there, but then he wasn’t. he showed up, he was drunk.. and he told her that he was tired of her.
he told her he had things he needed to figure out, but maybe he would be back. she knew that was a lie. but he remains in her life, maybe trying to keep her on this hook..or maybe it’s just fun for him to play games with the broken girl.
then comes another boy, realizing she’s vulnerable. he’s trying to keep her from rebuilding her wall. but all he keeps doing is trying to pressure her into getting into the same situation. he gets angry, she won’t put herself in it.
reminds her that she’s broken. ‘what were you like,’ he asks, ‘before you became too fucked up?’ she has no answer, she can’t remember a time when she wasn’t like this. now she lays in her bed, and she cries herself to sleep.
she has been through so much, all she’s ever wanted was someone to finally care, and every time she tries to let them, she just ends up more broken than she was before. she cries, because she knows that there’s a high likelihood that she’ll never have that.
and one of the reasons she won’t have that, is because everyone that walks into her life, breaks her down more and more. she cries, because she’s starting to lose her strength. when do the bad things end, so the good ones can begin?