The other students ignore me.
I don't think the teachers even know my name.
When I walk the busy halls, surrounded by classmates, I feel as though I exist as part of the school.
That I belong here.
But when classes start, there's a change. A subtle, yet noticeable shift.
There's a barrier that separates me from the others. I'm all alone.
I know that I'm not like everyone else. I can't keep up with the latest trends, and sometimes the words people say fly right over my head.
But why should that mean I deserve to be alone? Why can't they see that I need them?
The lights go out at night. I know to expect that, but I've never accustomed myself to it. I hate being left behind.
Where others are welcomed by family and home cooked meals, I have nothing but silent halls and screaming thoughts.
I curl up in the same nook in the library. It couldn't keep me safe, but it keeps me close to all that I've lost.
To my dreams, when I'd had good grades and a bright future.
To my family, when they'd been proud of me and I could run to them with open arms.
To a love that I once thought would never waver.
When the world wasn't an inky dark cloud. Before fear became everything I know.
Why must the clock only go forward? Couldn't nimble hands turn it back?
Couldn't I become the person I once was?
The girl who felt love and gave it just as often.
Why did that girl have to die?
Who had to send that bullet through my skull?