I have travelled far and wide. In my time I have bagged pretty much anything there is to bag. Zebra, Lion, Tiger, you name it and I have probably had a go at it.
I was only missing the big one, a Rhino. I had my chance but I missed and the stupid hulking creature got me instead. I suppose there is a certain final irony in that.
Then I came here to this place, a vast hot plain of rocky desert, with a few trees and bushes for cover.
I thought I was in heaven, there were large animals everywhere. I was almost right, but I got the heaven bit wrong.
You see these are my animals, I shot each and every one of them and sent them here before their time.
Now they are stalking me, I never get a moment's rest. They are armed, they drive Land Rovers and get together in groups to decide on the day's shoot.
I wish I could stop and tell you more but the cover is few and far between so I will have to get running again.
It isn't cruelty they tell me when they catch me, it's just sport! Damn, I have stayed too long, Boom! Never mind I get to do it all again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...