"I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realised I'm not holding my microphone"
"A slogan is a series of words that has a meaning"
"It's a heartwarming story but it's just not believable, which is why I give E.T. one and a half stars"
"Issue number one is the first issue we're going to talk about"
"Our next topic is 'Obamacare' which is short for 'Alabamacare'"
"I'm afraid I can't be mayor of Pawnee. My home residence is actually in Wheeling, West Virginia" "You don't even live in the state?" "No, and the story of my commute is: it's long"
"Leslie, for our viewers at home who might not know, are centaurs real?"
"Also joining us today is a different person"
"For a female perspective on this scandal, we turn to a woman"
"Ha ha ha. That's a hilarious image. A foot in a mouth"
"What? It's a common saying." "Ha ha ok."
"To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer"
original by Alexim