When I crawl out of bed, groggily realizing that this did not happen, my sleepy brain cranking gears enough to put together our current circumstance, I make my usual zombie walk to the bathroom. I remember suburban bathrooms being the size of my current bedroom and envy the child I used to be, thinking city life could come with space.
I have to pee and I don’t think anything of it until my brain’s synapses start firing and I remember the spider the size of my palm that we found on the wall next to the sink, just a foot or two behind me. My head whips around to check for this spider, to see if she came back. Not that I would have been able to do anything about it, being on the toilet and all…
Lucky for me, she was nowhere to be found. The dreadful existence of daily maintenance continues. Don’t forget to brush your teeth, kids. People underestimate the cost of dental care in the US, and then they’re in for a real shock when their teeth need help because they’ve utterly abandoned them.
The moral of this story is nothing. People need to stop needing to have morals to their stories, or clean endings for that matter. Sometimes a story means nothing because it’s about a life that doesn’t do much or amount to much and the most liberating feeling is accepting that you are one of the 89% of people who will live and die in obscurity. American children dislike that reality because we are simultaneously taught that we are special and perfect and also that we are fully capable of pulling som imaginary bootstraps and becoming wildly wealthy some day.
Newsflash: You don’t stand a chance at that sort of wealth on your own. Took me a while to realize that. I had all but squandered any opportunities I may have had by that point. Well anyway, isn’t it time for you to go to bed?