I keep forgetting he is real. I am trying my best not to think that; not to feel that-- and I have enough evidence of his reality, but Still.
I mean, he is here. Everybody sees him, knows him. Everybody real I mean. My classmates are real, My teachers are real damn it.
Sometimes I feel that I might be going crazy. May be I already am. This might be the reason why I think I might be imagining him. I never really thought some one would make me feel that way, never thought some one would fall for me.
Not some one like him anyway. He is great you k now, handsome, charming, intellectual-- knows his shit. Why would he fall for me if he was real?
But he is real. I guess its just my dumb brain. I have long told myself that I am going to die alone and no body is gonna love me--the 'love' love you see. And now that I have someone, I can't handle it. So I am going into denial.
Yesterday I again forgot. It was embarrassing. I said something awkward. He couldn't understand it. But good thing, he immediately forgot it and carried on with the conversation. Phew! Its not the only time this happened; it was the 5th.
Makes me wonder you know. Is he really real?