town to town with a dysfunctional family smiles from mom, absence of emotion from father he does drink when she goes to bed.
i remember one night when i was 6 i woke up after a bad dream. i saw myself in the mirror and i cried because i was afraid from the nightmare.
i ran out, looking for dad and there he was with a bottle of vodka longer than my arm. i could use the tears i've shed to fill that bottle, i'm sure of it. he drank liquor that burned
and yelled at me when i took pills that burned my tongue for years i thrived off the feeling of starvation even today i long for the ache of absolutely nothing clawing my insides.
my mother would cry, my brother would get angry they'd beg me to save myself while i silently begged them to let me go
i threw myself onto boys i thought would save me but no boys sticks around a girl who can't give them everything yet all the love in my heart went to these boys, until i was left as a shell
what did i expect? what have i ever expected of my life? the addictions drove me to my own highs and i knew i'd never give them up.