Smiles. I don't remember the last time they were genuine.
Laughs. I forgot what it feels like.
Hiding behind my mask, inside my castle walls. What does happiness F E E L like? I can't remember anymore.
I remember when I used to think a P R O M I S E was sacred. Pinky promises unbreakable.
I remember when a started to understand, 'Mommy' would say I promise to keep me S I L E N T.
I remember 'Daddy' used to say I promise to make me do what was needed.
Now I hide behind a M A S K,
When my 'friends' think of me, they think of the mask I hide behind.
Happy, chatterbox, troublemaker, extrovert, and a mess with me and I punch you attitude.
After all, if I make my mask stronger who will be able to get through?
I remember a time when I still had hope that perhaps my parents would L O V E each other again.
When 'Mommy' won't say 'Daddy' isn't ok mentally.
When 'Daddy' wouldn't say 'Mommy' was a bad person, a dirty little liar.
When I won't have to move between houses, and try not to mention it to others at school.
I used to dream that maybe one day T H E Y would be able to stay in one room together without attempting to tear each other's heads off.
Now I realise what a N A I V E dream that was.
Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. And if you look closely, The girl you see, well this really isn't me.
So I hide it behind my mask. Each day it grows thicker, blocking out the real me.
If no one sees the true me no one can really hurt me. After all, you can't hurt what you can't reach.
I don't remember when I didn't feel empty inside.
Thanks for reading, this was written by me, Arttywitch.
My third written work.