I'm going to write a book and it's going to be depressing because the words within the pages will be seen through my eyes.
You'll read it in my voice which cracks at the mention of the people who hurt me. Your hands will tremble as you flip through the pages of my mind and see the tears embedded into it.
Every page will contain an emotion, or several and reading it will feel like too much to you because that's how you all made me feel.
No matter what I did it was never enough because me, myself I was already too much so anything I did was just going to push people away.
Not all of the words will make sense to you and that's okay because nothing makes sense to me anymore.
Other people who have been hurt, lied to, been pushed away and not given a chance will understand.
They will read the book and cry for my sadness, cheer for my bravery and love me for my ability to keep going.
Even though no one is listening to me now, they've turned off their emotions and moved on without so much as a glance back at me reading this book will be like staring the destruction you were to scared to see right in it's eye
Be careful you don't blink because this book is hungry and it will devour you as soon as you open it, if your one of the people who caused this to happen.
There are no censored feelings once you break open the spine and dive inside the bones of this book only all the things that made the bones strong enough to hold me up when everything was trying to keep me down.
Don't worry, I won't name names in my book. You Him Her Them Nothing will be that obvious.
When you flip to the back read my bio under the very professional photo you'll think I've never had a bad day in my life The person in that photo looks happy but that's just because I got used to smiling when people told me I should.
I'll be sure to mention you in my dedication page, just look under the heading reasons this book was written. Your picture won't be there, but you'll see it.
Thanks for the fuel, it lit the fire in me and when you hold this book it will hurt and burn you, but the flames won't hurt me anymore