It all started in the 8th grade when i found out I was bisexual, I had never planned on telling anyone until the 11th grade to see if it was just a phase.
However, at that time i was determined to not be bisexual because, I am a christian.
But now that I'm in the 10th grade I wanted to do research for myself, and i recently found out that there are a tons of bisexual Christians.
I had came out to my mom in the 9th grade, when i was still trying to figure it out, she didn't like it but she said that she still loves me and that she would support me.
Then one day I kissed my best friend as joke. When I did that I couldn't get over it, I only could think about her, and to this day I still do.
I also recently came out to my grandma, and that didn't turn out how I imagined it would, when I told her that, her face completely froze like she just saw a ghost or something.
After a minute of silence, she looked at me and just started yelling, saying how I was just confused, that I didn't know who I was, that it's a sin and I'll go to hell,
and how staying with my mom made me this way, because I was hanging around gay people.
I just cried at that time, because i thought she wasn't homophobic, cause she had told me herself, that's the only reason I came out to her.
As she was yelling at me I heard her say that "YOU ARE NOT BISEXUAL, YOU ARE STRAIGHT. SAY THAT".
When she said that i was just scared because I thought she didn't love me anymore, then she said that I have to denounce that demon inside me, then she made me keep saying I'm straight.
She even said that she doing this because she loves me and that she doesn't want me to go to hell. That's when I lost my mind and I yelled at her that I am bisexual and that I do know who I am.
The crazy part was that she was smiling like who does that, she smiled at me and said " you don't know who you are, that's why you are crying".
That hurt like hell, and after all of that crazy stuff she said, she just drove back to the house and we were in the car in complete silence.
When we got home she was saying the same things again.
At that time I was just tired of hearing her yelling at me so I went to sleep, and then the next day she was acting like nothing happened, we didn't even talk as much as we used to.
Then it was the next day again (which was this morning), and this time she woke me up and it was just silence for a while, then she said "You know I love you right?
Do you love me as much as I love you?".
I was confused and i just said yea, and she said "Well show me how much you love, show me you can get better grades, ask the teachers when you need help, and send them emails,
and show me you can change and be like a girl. Do you know what I mean by be like a girl?".
I didn't know where she was going with this so i just said no, and she said "What I mean is be how God made you, he made you to like boys and boys only, so you are straight."
When she said that I was freaking angry, like being bisexual is how God made me, I can't just stop being bisexual, like what the hell.
Now that I know I can't escape it I just have to play along and act like I'm straight, I just need advice. What should I do now, can anyone help me?