On Saturday, my sticky boobs fell off at a brewery because it was so hot so I had to leave my boyfriend and Uber home to change then Uber back to the brewery.
Saturday night, my car was broken into, and the fucktard stole my house key, key fob to get into my garage, and phone charger. So on Sunday afternoon I got my apartment rekeyed.
On Sunday evening, I was taking my dog out and dropped my new set of keys down the elevator shaft. Of course, like a responsible adult, I locked my apartment door when I left.
So once again, I was locked out. My roommate was in her bedroom with her boyfriend, and I called her to let me in. She didn’t answer. I called twice and texted her 7 times before my phone died.
I sat outside my apartment door like a sad child for an hour and a half.
In that hour and a half, I beat on the door, I did cartwheels in the hall, I told my neighbor about my terrible luck, and I let one lone salty tear trickle down my long face.
Sometimes, I just can’t believe this is my life.