I’m scared. Just scared about being in my home, the place that’s supposes to be my safe zone but now I’d rather be anywhere else.
My mother just gives no affection towards me, she never has nor dose she give me encouragement or reassurance. Everything is do is either mediocre or not good enough.
She hardly ever provides food for the household and when she does its junkfood and things mainly for herself.
I normally end up being the one who gets food and trying provide for three people is difficult especially when one of them doesn’t fucking eat anything and then it makes me feel bad for trying.
There’s not even any point of me cooking for them anyway. I never get a thank you. Though I always thank them for my meals. My mums fiancé doesn’t like it when I leave food on my plate.
I have to hide all my leftovers in my room until he leaves the house and then get rid of them. My room really smells bad today but I’d rather deal with the smell than the comments.
Most of the house work doesn’t get done. I make sure to clean my mess but as soon as they return from work they just make such a mess and expect me to clean it up.
I don’t mind doing it now and again but its becoming to the point where they’ll refuse to do it and then blame me for not cleaning their mess. Again I rarely get a thank you. They always argue.
I’m scared that someone will get hurt or leave and if one leaves we won’t be able to stay in this house and we’d be in a tone of debt. I say we because yes it would be my fault, obviously.
I just want to move out get away from them. I feel like my health would increase and I’d be able to loose weight and just be happier in general. But I can’t. It costs to much.
Everyone I know is in a relationship and i wouldn’t want to move in with them. Even if I got a full time job I wouldn’t be able to provide for myself. So I’m stuck here. Scared.
I’d rather die.
I want to…