Do not sit in your empty bathtub, drink wine, and listen to sad love songs. It will not make the loneliness go away.
It will make you feel numb, which will be nice, but that nothingness will be temporary.
And you will feel the hell out of that hangover when you wake up and realize you fell asleep in your bathtub, your wine-stained glass and empty wine bottle beside you.
The crick in your neck will remind you of the pain in your heart. That aching longing you have for touch. You will think about the last time you were touched.
How he snuffed out the loneliness as quickly and easily as one would a lit candle. How he called you beautiful and made you feel alive.
How you knew it was ephemeral but the euphoria was too great to ignore.But now you’re here. With a sore neck, a pounding head, and oh, feel that? Your back hurts too.
You’re not old yet, but you aren’t so young either. And you think about how loneliness rips through you like a tornado.
How when you add tears with that, you become a hurricane, hell bent on destroying yourself. But you must not fight so hard against pain. Like any other storm, you must wait it out. So do not drink.
Do not listen to Elle Varner or Jazmine Sullivan. You will cry. You may scream. Do not give up.