It’s consuming me again and I don’t know what to do. I’m laying in my bed wanting the voices to stop. What have I done to deserve this.
I feel like a freaking attention seeker but I literally don’t see a way anymore. I’m laying here, feeling total done and I’m so tired of trying.
I feel like if I died everything would make sense and I don’t even want to think it.
I lay in bed trying to sleep and thinking “maybe this big picture above me on the wall falls down on my head tonight. Would be okay with it.” or “maybe I won’t wake up tomorrow.
” and I feel so selfish and attention seeking right now. But I can’t stop my thoughts.
Sometimes the thoughts are so loud that I feel like someone’s literally in my room shouting in my hear I need to die.
My mum told me to go to the doctor again to get other meds or more of the ones I’m taking at the moment but I’m sure it wouldn’t help either.
But I’d literally try anything to get better and be able to spend my life with my family, my friends and my beautiful girl.