My life is in absolute crumbles right now, and my writing is a therapy to escape from it. My parents divorced about 7 years ago when I was eleven years old due to my father never being home.
My mother felt neglected and every time he came home he was always angry about something. He would hit us (I have two sisters and one brother) and even my mother would get hit multiple times.
He would come back and apologize but the damage was already done. Life with my mother was unsteady after the divorce we moved three different places in the span of one and half years.
My siblings never really understood what was going on at the time, because they were all so young the youngest being 4 and the oldest being 9.
They still loved mommy and daddy and life wasn’t to bad for them, because they were sheltered from most of it.
It wasn’t until I was 13 that I ended back in my father’s clutches again,
because his new girlfriend help him get custody claiming that my mother was mentally disabled in many ways that’s when I started writing as I sipped into depression.
I lived with him up until last week and that’s because he went back to his old ways. He mentally abused me by agreeing with what some of the bullies said to me.
He added on that I was a narcissist at 14 years old-when all I did was try to keep him from hurting my younger siblings.
His girlfriend at the time did nothing but try to calm him down from his rages no anger management or anything like that.
He refused to seek medical help when it was him all along that was “mentally disabled” as he like to put it.
We moved to a bigger city and that was his mistake, because he ended up hitting his girlfriend and she left him after 4 years.
For me being the oldest I took on all the motherly duties in the house on top of being an AP student, working a part time job, and playing soccer on varsity.
This meant cleaning, cooking, making sure homework got done, going to work 30 hours a week, but the hitting never stopped.
That was my life even when I got into a bad accident , and the whole thing was blamed on my “teenage stupidity”.
My “teenage stupidity” was a lady playing on the phone while driving, and hitting me on my bike while driving 20 miles an hour.
I had severe concussion and the ACL in my left knee was torn almost all the way this made me quit soccer.
I was no longer medically allowed to play one of the only things that made me happy and it crushed me.
Not all the way though the doctor said if I was careful and went though some therapy after a minor surgery.
That is when I took up singing and dancing, my younger sister’s friend showed me GOT7 and EXO and I fell in love with KPOP.
Only to get insulted again and hit for liking something that was out of my culture and that I couldn’t understand.
I’ve been pushed up against a wall with his hand around my throat, slapped, punched, headbutted, kicked, slapped on a brand new tattoo, and felt worthless for so long.
I felt a little bit of guilt for him as CPS caught him Thursday last week after he hit my brother days before.
He was no longer allowed to touch me after me turning 18 years, but that’s when it got worse. I feel bad for saying this about my own father but I’m glad he got caught.
I now live with my mother who is taking good care of my siblings and has a stable home for us to stay in.
My siblings may still be struggling with the quick change I’m glad it happened, because he can longer touch them anymore.