Around 1130 Christmas eve you were breaking all your windows screaming about how you wanted to kill yourself. This wasn't the first time, so no one even paid attention to your outburst.
Sometimes, when you cry wolf for so long that when it's real, no one believes you.
You tied the rope around your neck and took a leap of faith.
I put the patches on you, ran the strip for 1 minute. Asystole the whole time. Time of death: 12/25/15 0303.
Merry Christmas to you. You finally got what you wanted.