I have fallen in love so many times in so many different ways.
A love that was like ice and fire, all heat or none, there was no inbetween. Extremes on both ends of the spectrum that made me beg for more, instead of asking for less. It was a silly love.
It was a first love. But it was still love.
And then there was the love the felt like walking. A love so in step and easy you just kind of fall into it. A love that feels like all the good parts of existing. Like you’re existing.
A long love, that didn’t last long at all.
My dog love. No, I don’t mean the love for my dog. I mean the way I feel for them love makes me think of the undying, undeserving love dogs give to their owners.
I am solidly owned by someone I have never even met, and I think I could do anything for them - through Hell or High Water, don’t ask me why. A grounding kind of love.
An appreciative kind of love. Just knowing they’re alive, and existing, makes me happier than I thought I could be.
Then there’s the new one. The feeling of An Autumn kind of love. Of naps and wedding rings. Winter fires and held hands. Cuddling and laughs over cotton candy.
A blanketing kind of love that’s exactly right; not too hot and not too cold. Not smothering, not suffocating, not begging - a warm kind of love.
The kind that grows, the kind that make you stare at their face for hours, just basking in your life.
I haven’t met my Autumn kind of love; I haven’t met them yet but I can feel my own Autumn love in my heart so, I think they may be closer than I think.
I think my Autumn love will be my last. It feels - the most fulfilling.