I fucking hate children
I fucking hate children stories
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Year: 1 "What the fuck do you want?" I scream at the shrieking infant in front of me. I fucking hate children. I have for as long as I could remember.
By sexyBobaFett https://www.reddit.com/r/...

I fucking hate children

by sexyBobaFett

Year: 1

"What the fuck do you want?" I scream at the shrieking infant in front of me. I fucking hate children. I have for as long as I could remember.

And this is why dealing with kids for all eternity has become my private hell. If you were wondering, I have I spent the last millennia trapped in a house forced to care for a child.

Everything I need to keep us alive magically replenishes and there is a a force field preventing me from leaving the front gate making abandonment impossible.

Perhaps I was a child killer when alive but I couldn't be that fucked in the head. I don't remember that life now, just my current state of damnation.

Year: 1.5

She calls me "Dada" now. I suppose it's better than "WAHHGH!!"

Year: 3

Jesus she shat all over the floor! When I finally got her to use the damn toilet I rejoiced thinking I wouldn't need to use another diaper again, yet I'm still wiping her shit!

Year: 5

Today was her first day of school. A bus just parked right in front of her house. Apparently only I am unable to cross the force field.

She boarded the bus and left me alone for the next 8 hours. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

Year: 7

Apparently in the Hell callendar it is summer so I took her to the playground in our back yard. I feel like I hardly see her since school started.

Year: 15

Today was her first day of high school. She apparently made the soccer team and has lots of new friends. I'm glad she's doing well and her stories almost make me feel like I can leave the house.

I don't know how to feel about all these "cute boys" she sees though.

Year: 17

She's going on her first date tonight. I don't know why I'm so worried. I guess I know I'd be helpless to save her or anything.

I reminded her to be back by 10 and with that she hopped into the car parked outside the force field and left me. I felt so stupid for crying.

Year: 18

She looked so beautiful in her cap and gown. I can't believe my little girl is graduating! Obviously, I can't attend the ceremony.

I beamed at my daughter with pride as she adjusted the string on her cap.

"Thank you for everything dad-" she began choking and fell to the ground. Blood splashed from her throat and leaked from her pleading eyes. I held her screaming to the heavens.

"No! No! Please God No!"

She mouthed "help" before leaving me one last time. I screamed and cried and cursed until my lungs give out and I pass out.

Year: 0

I wake up the unbearable sound of crying in another room. My head is pounding for some reason.

"What the fuck is that noise? Shit I hate children."

Edit: years changed by popular demand

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