CONFUSION or DELUSION!

What would you do when someone suddenly just comes up to you and asks you to make him a part of your life.

Part of you?

You talk like you've been waiting forever. Waiting to discover what brings you close, what keeps you tight, what makes you feel alive.

You want to confess, you want to tell him everything about you.

Everything that makes you. Everything that breaks you.

But you just can't.

There's something that turns you up and you stop.

You want to snub the fire when you touch each other, the bond you want to have and you think you're partaking, the entwined passions that keep you going. You want to ignore all.

Makes me feel like the world is a kaleidoscope of your love and hatred.

Where I find myself bemused to death every living day.

You don't know why he's doing whatever he's doing.

You just can't figure out his beautiful mind with all the chaos engulfed, thoughts rupturing the bubbles of your own mind which you thought weren't affected at all.

You try to find yourself within him and so does he.

But you know it's not right. More-so, something you never thought in your wildest daydreams.

But it's happening. Right in front of your eyes and you can't do anything about it.

You JUST DON'T WANT to do anything about it.

There's him and then there's everything else. You get happy when your body misses him. There are fireflies in your heart and your veins feel like they're lifeless.

But you also know that it's just in your mind. The beginning and the end of everything seems arduous in ways you would never bid for the vilest of your enemies.

CONFUSED. CLUELESS.

I rise, take grip and gather myself up.

Wishing to see things how they were.

How faith would let me sleep peacefully at night, how the moon would nuzzle me and tell me not to fear, how the butterflies would lead me to you and make me swoon.

Sometimes people want to escape. I want to, too. Get rid of the shadow, the agony. Run back home to mommy and sit there with her while the world made no sense.

But what would that make us?

A coward?

A sham deceiving our own self?

Or just someone who wants to be happy?