The steps on the staircase are getting louder and firmer. You are getting closer, I can feel it.
My heart is pounding in my chest and I am even doubting whether you can hear it echoing from the hallway. I'm so nervous. Uneased I check the mirror one last time.
The candles I displayed in your room surround my physique and the lights flicker through the entire room, being the sole lightsource of the night.
One last spray of perfume; Si from Giorgio Armani, your favourite, I noticed you smelling the scent from the bottle at the store on 15th avenue.
You probably don't remember that moment, but it was that exact moment where I'd seen a sparkle in your eyes that has never failed to leave my memories.
Unbelievable how this moment finally came to life, not even in my wildest dreams could I have dreamt for this day to come. I've planned out this entire evening.
In a brief moment, you are going to step through that door and I will be sitting on your bed, one leg on top of the other, revealing the bare skin on my right thigh, placed just above the end of my stockings.
With my chin tilted slightly downwards, looking up at you with a discreed smoulder on my lips.
I stand up from the bed, and lined with the music of your favourite vinyl playing in the background, I step forward towards you, letting your palms rest on mine and seducing you into a dance.
After turning you around once, I let my head rest on your shoulder, with my nose just slightly touching the skin of your cheekbone.
Your fragrance smells the same as always, sweet and natural, yet addictive, making me pull you closer as I turn you around.
I stroke the back of my hand against your cheek, following the line of your jaw, pulling you closer as I bring my lips near yours.
I look into your eyes and I have never seen anything so beautiful. So pure. So innocent. So.. frightened..? I take a step back. This is when it hits me. We have never met. I know you.
You want to know me. You want to be with me. I would be perfect for you. Yet there is one problem. You have no idea who I am. You have no clue how great my love is for you.
How can I expect you to trust me when you don't even know me. I don't even know me. I need to leave. I need to be fast. You can be here any second. How could I let this happen. What did I do.
I am about to mess up my only shot at getting to know you.
The real you- not the version of you that I have created in my head, the version I want to give my love to and spend the rest of my life with. But I do. I love you.
The door handle moves and I hear the door unlock. There is only a split second to spare. You haven't seen me yet. I can still fix this. You can't see me. I must do something.. I panic.
I take the golden girandole that is placed on your nightstand and pull out the candles. The door opens.
I need you to pass out but breathe, so that I can walk away and your won't remember any of this ever happened. You step through the door. I smash you in the head.
You fall down, but I can still catch you before you hurt yourself. I would never want you to get hurt. I love you. This is all for you. I would never be able to do this if it weren't for you.
I lay you down in bed and take my chance. I stroke your face as if this would be the last time we meet. But we both know that isn't true. We are meant to be.
I keep myself from kissing you, as I want our first kiss to be memorable for the both of us. We need to be perfect from the start.
I lay my head on top of your breast and I can hear your heart beating peacefully. I feel so safe laying by your side. Your heart is like a metronome, you bring the rhythm of my soul at peace.
I wish I could make this moment last forever. And it will someday, but for now I need to let you go. You deserve to get to know me. The real me.
And when you do, you will fall in love with me too. I put out the candles and clean up any traces that would lead back to me. You cannot remember me. But we shall meet.
When I am ready to provide you with everything I want to give to you. You deserve the greatest love of them all. Which you will receive, I promise. I love you.
You will wake up tomorrow morning, not remembering anything from the night. Which is perfect. But I will. And pray the lord I shall never forget.
See you soon, my love.