I don't know how to love you or how to love you not
Sure I've your thoughts, but it's not you who they are about.
When my eyes are misty and my wounds are bare
That's when I need you and in all my despair.
My mind is caught up and tangled in your thoughts
But when put together, it's not you who they make the portrait of.
Your face and your laugh look so clear in my mind, from where they don't leave
Then how is it that when I don't need you, you are just a blurry haze to me?
That the sound of your voice is an unfamiliar sound, I'm so faintly unaware of the way they echo on this ground.
And I've twisted the words you said, for me to perceive,
The words you never said are the ones I believe.
I don't think I can recall the secrets that you shared,
I appreciated the flowers only when they were all dead.
You look at me, smile, and talk about a hundred different things
I try to listen, I smile back but then I lie and give in
To the wandering thoughts of what I like and what I don't
Reverting back to my own self-beliefs that I condoned.
But you still stay and tell me how you feel
I'm sorry darling but I can't deal
With the things that aren't about me
And maybe it's time that I should leave
Because when you sing for me, the world hears your symphony
I don't and to me, I convey my own sympathy.
Because this narcissist fell in love with her own reflection and not you, my love
Apparently, the thoughts surrounding her own self were never enough.