this is the story of the worst day of my life. we knew this was coming, we knew for a few weeks it would be soon, that soon we would have to say goodbye to our baby.
on monday april 23rd we made the appointment. we made the appointment to put dozer down and at first i didn’t fully process that we would be losing him.
i came home that day and i cried, i cried so much i didn’t think i could cry anymore, that all the tears were sucked out of me.
everyday i would give him love so much love that i felt him getting bothered by my presence, but i didn’t care i wanted to give him all my love,
squeeze out every ounce of love in my body and give it to him. on friday, april 27th i woke up, my friend byanca slept over and we were gonna go to school together.
i woke up took a shower and cried. i cried and cried in the shower, i knew my best friend would be gone within 12 hours from that moment, i knew that soon he would just be a memory.
i got out of the shower brushed my hair and put sweats and a hoodie on, i didn’t care how i looked, nothing mattered to me at that moment. i went to the living room and sat with him.
i looked at him and observed everything about him.
i looked at his eyes, so grey and cloudy, he looked tired, he looked so exhausted and done, he was strained and you could tell, i knew it was his time but i didn’t wanna believe it.
i had to quickly rush to school or i’d miss my bus. i knew my day would go by slower than any other even tho i was getting picked up early.
my day started off going into first hour and sitting alone, my friend noticed i was sitting alone and started talking to me asking what was wrong and i lost it,
i broke down and told him i was losing my best friend today. second hour rolled around and my luck everyone was talking about death, not only death, death of a dog.
i held it in as much as i could until i told them to shut up and i broke down yet again. nobody knew what was happening that day, i didn’t blame them.
how could they know, it’s not like they can read my mind. they gave me all their condolences, but their condolences couldn’t stop what was happening that day at 4:00.
third hour i slept, i slept because i thought if i was asleep i wouldn’t think about it, like i could sleep away this problem.
in advisory i was on the track and my dad texted me telling me that he was gonna pick me up.
Lana walked me inside the school and we were talking about it, trying to prepare me for the pain that i was about to have. but you can’t prepare yourself for that type of pain.
my dad picked me up and the secretary said “i hope you have a good day Tim and Amanda!
” little did she know that at 4 my life would be destroyed that my life would fall into millions of pieces. i got to the car and my dad looked distressed.
i gave him a big hug and started bawling my eyes out and so did he. we were losing our big baby, our dozer. we drove to gordon’s and was gonna get him steak.
we sat in the parking lot in silence, he asked me after 5 minutes if i was going in with him, i said no and he got out of the car to get the food.
it was surreal, this was actually happening and i started crying more, i started bawling and i didn’t care who saw.
we got home and i instantly threw myself to dozer, i gave him kisses, hugs, cookies, you name it, i did. i wanted to show dozer how much i loved him and how much he meant to me.
after hours of people coming to see dozer, coming in and out it was nearing 4:00. timothy and i quickly went to michael’s and got paint for dozers paw print. we got home and it was 3:50.
i laid with him and cried and told him everything would be okay. leilana came over laid with us and we cried together.
timothy’s friend devin came over so leilana and i stepped outside, at that point it was 4:15. we knew soon the lady would come over to take our baby.
PART 1, please let me know if you want to see the rest of my experience.