To know every day I can see your door.
I'm too unworthy to behold it.
In those instances that I do, when the timing is almost right,
I'm graced with the backside of a closing door.
Welcoming and denying.
The velvety black bounces,
rippling as if waving farewell.
and then it was gone.
An ordinary day.
The worst of its kind.
A flash fever.
Is that nature's doing?
Or is it truly the heart's warmth?
A fever to fight off infection.
A blinding heat to challenge your balance.
One can only look straight on.
Away from the alluring brightness and
the familiar, the intoxicating scent of ozone.
Are we only just beasts?
Are we Odysseus rope-bound to a crashing ship
as the sirens beckon us, luring us to our own drowning?
Most of us are the sailors that jump and die trying;
die with our hearts in our ear.
Such a presence kills.
In my heart of hearts, this I know.
This is why I must keep walking.