"We interrupt this program to bring you this load of bullshit that our corporate sponsors want us to tell you to be afraid of."
"Since we are undignified, obedient sheep who will lie to the public, so long as we're paid—”
“...here's a picture of a graph that shows a rise in some bullshit."
"We’re not sure what this bullshit means but if you can't tell by our serious tone,
"We’re not sure what this bullshit means but if you can't tell by our serious tone, “... IT’S SERIOUS!”
“Rather than a credible witness, we found a more attractive person who was there when this bullshit occurred."
"I saw the bullshit. I was there, and I am— ...scared? Haha.”
“We spoke with some guy who said he was an expert in bullshit, and what he had to say will hopefully shock you.”
“Here's a paid actor with another graph:
"If you look here, you can see the sudden decrease in the population’s intelligence."
“No, I’m not Drake today; only on weekends.”
"We don't actually know anything about this bullshit, nor if we should be fearful of it, but YOU certainly should be—"
"...or we don't get paid."
Special Thanks to