Self Hate
Self Hate hate stories
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alexandrejosean
alexandrejosean Balladmonger in Cheif
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
What happened to get me into a spiral of self hate you ask? Here is my answer

Self Hate

Saying something meaningful. While also being demeaning.

Writing without thinking

Saying something meaningful While also being demeaning. Writing without thinking No empathizing, just breathing.

Thinking you can help,

Thinking you can help, But screwing up the words.

But screwing up the words. Using them in ways no one else has heard.

Sharing all your thoughts

All of them on text,

While also: confusing the meaning.

While also: confusing the meaning. conveying the wrong feeling.

While also: confusing the meaning. conveying the wrong feeling. & calibrating others without treating.

Not treating them with respect, by listening (slash) reading.

Constructing an explanation that no one is needing.

Then finishing and hitting send, its now done... now competing.

NOW: Wanting to appoligize, so fast and so hard.

NOW: Wanting to appoligize, so fast and so hard. Wanting to reverse time and stopping the words from manifesting and going ajar.

Like a train wreck in the front, you are a passenger in the back.

You don't see the extent of the damage, until you step back.

Reflecting on what you did wrong, helps with the coping.

You can't appoligize now, but at least you are still open.

AJA

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