"I've been here before," I think to myself as I go through the motions. It's a delicate dance or at the very least, I'd like it to be.
My arm pushes against the air, against the eyes peeled to every movement I make, I want them to see, I want them to witness.
The summer breeze joins in on the fun, uninvited, yet always welcome. It swirls inside with every intoxicating breath I take.
The vision is always first to go, unwilling betrayal I saw coming a mile away. Nothing but a blur between now and then and what remains to be seen.
Synapses blink in and out of existence at a steady pace, yet there's an odd underlying rhythm to it. I start to lose myself between the beats, but I find her instead. My confidant.
I spill my secrets in a careless whisper and they flow along the lines of the delicate fabric she wears
"I'm mean to the others, cause I'm mean to myself," I blurt out and snicker like a 5th grader that told a naughty joke
She seems unmoved by my lies. Her body staying unnaturally still, while her face is constantly changing. I know there's no other way out. I have to tell her...
"There's fear in letting go" - words break away and slip through my fingers before I can catch them.
The movement stops, I can see her face clearly now as she turns her head towards the sound of my voice and our eyes finally meet.
Something pulls me away, I can barely make out her shape in the distance, yet I can't shake the feeling that...
"You've been here before" her voice rolls over me like a storm, again.
My ears pop and the damp autumn air barges in with a sizzle. I bury my hands in the jacket as the taxi makes a dangerous turn on a wet, beaten-down road.
"Care for a dance?" the driver asks
"Excuse me?", everything drowns in the ethnic music that's been blaring from the speakers for a while now. But I can hear a distant train horn and a muffled noise of cars rushing past us
He turns the volume down. "I said, Is this the place?"
I give him a nod - suppose it is, could have gone anywhere else, but I chose to go home. Not sure why, but I feel relieved as I step outside into the downpour.
It's been raining for days now, but I don't mind, I find some comfort in knowing that the next day will be the same.
It's the devil you know.