Only Now

by alecpanos

The only comfort in not having her,

is knowing I never deserved her in the first place.

All the times I'd waste my love on people and places

that didn't mean half as much to me as the soft touch of her hand or the warmth of her breath pressing gently on my cheek, before she slowly would plant a kiss on the tip of my nose.

It felt warm and wet before turning cold,

as we sat on the partially snow covered beach halfway through January. It was dark outside and the moon wasn't there, but the lights from the surrounding skyscrapers took it's place.

It was three in the morning on a Monday

and she shared her left glove with me, even when it started to rip she still wouldn't allow me let go of her hand and I smiled.

We left the beach and started walking home,

are stomachs felt hard from laughter and we could barely hold a breath walking alone on the sidewalk that felt so narrow I had to hold her close and I didn't let go I remember.

Before we went to bed we sat on our roof

and we didnt say a word till I did and I asked, " is this how it will be forever?" she laughed and said "No my love, only now"