This Girl
This Girl gay romance stories

aknier I occasionally remember to write things
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
A story about a crush so intense it leaves you breathless

**warning: some strong language**

This Girl

I thought I'd had crushes before

There was Carson, who smiled at me in bio

There was Avery, with the beautiful eyes

But this girl

God, it's like it's not even the same emotion

I really thought I liked the others, I did

I'd blush when they were nearby,

Sit up straighter,

Toss my hair,

Get nervous,

But this girl takes butterflies to a whole new level

It's more like a thousand angry lions are in my stomach

Intent on catching their prey,

Which happens to be right where my heart is

I've turned into a little bit of a stalker, I think

I stare at her Instagram, just because I miss her face

God, I'm going crazy, I must be

I barely know her and yet my soul feels drawn to be near her

Like when the universe was created

My very bones, my cells, my molecules

Were made into a compass

With her as my true north

That sounds crazy, doesn't it?

It makes no sense

This isn't me

I don't pine from a distance

I'm five feet of "bold and in your face"

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm proud of it

But then for some reason when she smiles, my palms get sweaty

And the stupidest things come out of my mouth

And suddenly I'm telling her things some of my closest friends don't know

And I don't know why, but it's like my mouth decided I can trust her without asking my brain

God, this girl

She's so pretty in every way I never knew I wanted

What's a type?

That's bullshit

I thought I knew what I wanted before my eyes decided they only wanted to see her

And suddenly I'm daydreaming curly hair and holding her hand

You know you've got in bad when you're daydreaming about holding her hand

And god, the counting

Counting the minutes since she last texted me,

The days until I see her again,

The hours I stay up talking to her instead of sleeping,

The numbers are getting ridiculously, comically, large

And it's crazy, because I'm never like this

I'm used to being in control, knowing how to get what I want

But with this girl I don't even know how to ask her out

I want to give her candles and flowers and everything she's ever dreamed of

But god am I terrified of screwing things up

So maybe, someday, I'll make my move

But for now I'm dealing with keeping a bit of distance when every part of me is screaming to be closer to her

Because I know it's crazy

But for some reason, some part of me feels like she might be the one

So I can't rush into things

I can't mess things up

Not with this girl

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