I Couldn't Look Away

She sat in the back of the classroom every day

One headphone in, listening to some kind of music

I sat in the middle row

But way on the end

So I could watch her

Not, like, in a creepy way

Obviously

But she was the most interesting thing that had ever happened to Ms. Daughhery's 5th hour math class

And, to be honest, I couldn't look away

At first, I thought I was jealous of her

That her smooth, shiny hair cascading down her back

And my choppy brown bob

Was why I paid so much attention

Then I figured it must be her ease, her confidence

The way she never once look at the board

But had a perfect score on every test, anyway

I always got 99-s

But I didn't really mind

If I had to lose to someone, I was glad it was her

So I knew it wasn't just her hair or her brains

Then I started really fixating

The graceful line between her shoulder and her neck

The curve of her arm as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear

The way she'd bite her bottom lip just barely when she was thinking

I decided I must just be jealous of her body

That was, until she smiled at me one day

I was entering the classroom

(A bit late, I'll admit)

When I tripped over the trash can by the door

I flew over it and landed sprawled on my face

Groaning, I looked up to see the whole class staring at me

But I locked eyes with her

And I watched in awe as her eyes crinkled and the corners,

And she raised her hand to her mouth

Not quite covering the mischievous smile spreading across her face

My god, she looked radient

And that was when I realized

When I thought I was jealous, I wasn't listening to the truth inside me

If I'd really listened my feelings

I would have realized I wasn't jealous because I wanted to be her

But because I wanted to be with her

In retrospect, I don't know why it took me so long to realize I was a lesbian

But looking back, I wouldn't change anything for the world

After all, nothing can compare to the feeling I had the first time my wife smiled at me

Because even now,

When she smiles at me,

I can't look away