All About You

Your favorite color is lilac

And you love those shitty Christmas chocolates in advent calendars

You wrinkle your nose when you get a compliment you don't agree with

And your hands are always cold

But none of that matters anymore

Because I haven't talked to you in eight months

I hate how you're still in my head

I used to think it was cute how little things I saw would remind me of you

But now the reminders are everywhere

"You lost her"

"She's gone"

"Too late"

You always sing when a song you like comes on the radio

But I haven't heard your voice in long enough that I can't quite remember

You wouldn't talk to me, even if I tried

I lost you

You're gone

I'm too late

So when I saw you yesterday

I didn't quite know what to do

I could tell you saw me, but you were pretending you didn't

I know you, remember?

You pulled on your sleeves, like you always do when you're nervous

And then I heard you laugh

And the sound fucking shattered my heart

I used to make you laugh, because I knew exactly what you thought was funny

You hate cauliflower

Your middle name is Nicole

When you laugh really hard your tongue poke out a little bit

And you hate me now

Isn't it strange how you can go from loving someone,

knowing everything about them,

to just being strangers again?

I know if I reached out all I'd get was silence

But I don't know what to do with all this useless knowledge about you I have in my head

I think it'd be better if that was just silent, too