Twin Pillar
Twin Pillar poetry stories

aketto 21, trans man, poet, offbeat.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
A poem written for a friend during their addiction. I just had to tell them what they mean to me.

Twin Pillar

Twin pillar you're swaying

From familiar weathering,

But more so than anyone,

You are most like me,

But still so different,

Doppel duality.

You are my family.

We reflect each other in our eyes,

And your grin mirrors mine,

But I can't shake my fear

That you could leave my life.

It's the illness in me,

Weathering me with time.

Though I'm not blind to this,

And here is why:

When you sway, I rock.

My foundation creaks --

Dissociation is a veil cast across my eyes,

And for a moment, I can't see

You. So alone I begin to bend the knee

To a weight that kills.

Twin pillar, you hold the world with me.

For only you know these voices

Up here...and where they come from.

What gave birth to my fear?

Who made me "her," made me "Allsun?"

You know my past

Makes me come undone.

I know you've heard them, the voices.

I know the work you did for quiet.

Do not fill your head with noise,

Twin pillar, keep your wit.

Remember what you've seen and done

And the impulses born from it.

You told me you love yourself,

But if your self-love wavers,

Remember your love for me.

See I need not be your savior.

Your love is stone strong, mine is wood.

I am your soft, natural neighbor.

And even now I am embarrassed

By my overflowing tenderness and fear;

But you are worth the depth of

My warm well of emotion. So dear

Are you are to me, so present.

Too many times you've saved my life

And seen me before I could disappear.

So when you sway, I rock.

When you rock, I begin to break.

If you fall, I fall apart, I crash

Under a weight I alone cannot take.

So love yourself for my sake.

Love yourself like you never have before.

When you protect yourself you protect me.

That is the bond we made.

Part II

When you see a person so strong,

How can you not love them?

When that person gives you their time,

Their heart, pulls you out of a dim

Strange world of suicidal whim,

They become a part of your life.

You owe them all of your strength,

And you would give it all to them.

When you see someone who survives

A weight, different yet the same

As yours, when you see someone

Who grits teeth and bears unjust blame,

Who swallows pride, who gives life,

When you see someone who came

Into this world with, objectively, so little yet makes so many huge,

Beautiful waves,

You don't need to be their savior.

You know you have always saved

Yourself. And I love you for your strength.

And I will always be with you

Holding equal parts of our world weight.

And I will strengthen myself in time

To catch us if we sway.

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