I began to take mental notes. I observed his every detail, from the way he walks, to even the slightest wrinkle signalling his distress. He usually managed to keep his poker face on.
But I knew it was a veil separating the masses from the real him. He began to hate me. I must admit I was quite annoying. I gave him no privacy. In these days he continued to hurt me.
If he had ever loved me before, well now he definitely didn't. H began looking for other victims. More hearts shattered. Fear gripped my heart. What if I was only catalyzing his works.
What if I was helping this monster evolve. But no matter how many questions and possibilities entered my mind, I kept my cool. I was determined to leave him a changed man.
Months passed. He had my heart locked up for too long and I was beginning to let go. I stopped caring. Life had no purpose anymore. I stopped loving him.
My heart still ached when I saw his face. But it was no longer sheer love that drove me. It was fear of he'd become. I began growing. I found love in a safer place. I still longed for his touch.
But I knew I had poisoned my well being enough. And just when I thought it was time to cut the rope, Something in him flipped. He became possessive and overly caring. He suffocated me with love.
He I felt claustrophobic in his embrace. There was no in between his two sides. He either purely hated, or purely loved. Apart from these two emotions he felt nothing.
He was toxic in all his forms. I couldn't stay. I wanted to hug him and fill him with fake promises like he did to me in the start. But I couldn't I wanted to run as far away as I could.
I wanted to forget I ever met such a soul. I wanted to erase everything I felt and did for him. But it was like he was tattooed in my brain. I missed him. I loved him. I hated him.
I was angry, sad, disappointed. I decided to never go back, no matter how hard that would be. I bore enough scars. I knew it was time for a goodbye.