Who knew that one person could make me feel more than I have my entire life.
I don’t understand though, you tell me you like me more than anything else in this world, but yet you can’t even respond to me.
One word from you could crush my soul, make me not want to move for days. I don’t think you get it. I’m falling, and I’m falling hard for you. I see your name and I smile.
I wonder if you do the same, but for all I know you could be telling ten other girls the same things you tell me. How would I know.
You seem to never tell me anything, and yet all I wanna do is talk to you.
Somehow all of our conversations somehow end with some sort of picture of my body, always clothed but still it makes me wonder. Do you want me or just my body. I mean it makes sense.
Why would a guy like you want a girl like me for anything but my body. No one understands. Everytime you don’t respond it makes me wonder.
My thoughts wind down therese crazy twists and turns with so many ups and downs and yet I’m still here.
Almost everything has crossed my mind, the thought of you being with someone else, cheating on me. Except it wouldn't really be cheating now would it because it’s not like we are together.
The negative thoughts about you using me haven’t taken over yet. One day they might, and then what will there be left other.
Just a girl who can’t even bear to look at her phone because she knows your name won’t be on the screen.
And yet she’ll look and she’ll see your name and all she will be able to think about is what could’ve been. What you and I could be. I hope we figure things out.
I’m not one for talking about feelings but sometimes that’s the only way. I hate this. I just don’t understand.
I don’t understand why one day you can fall so hard for someone and you think they’ve fallen for you too. But what if they didn’t. What if it’s all a show.
And I’m the lead who was unaware of the plot. Perhaps the director just wanted to get real emotions. Make the tears seem more real than they usually are on camera.
Well let me tell you something it’s definitely working. I’m not sure why you would purposely crush someone, but I guess that's why they call it a crush don’t they.
Because all of a sudden something can change with the other person and then boom, the weight of a freight train crushed you. I don’t understand it.
Oh of course as I’m writing this out of frustration I get a notification. Of course it’s from you. It’s not like it’s been a seemingly eternity or anything.
And yet I bet when I open it, it won’t be anything. Perhaps just another black screen sent simply to keep the streak.
With every black screen sent, no text, nothing, another knife stabs my heart. I’m simply waiting. The way I see it is that there’s two ways that this is gonna go.
Either you take all the knives out or you twist the knives one by one, each more painful than the last. Perhaps this is all a game to you. See how long this girl lasts. Maybe she’ll make it.
Maybe she’ll hold on. But have you ever thought that maybe she’ll hold on so long that by the time she lets go there will be no one there to catch her.
Maybe she’ll fall into a deep pit of nothingness waiting for someone to pick her back up. Put her back on track, but the only person that made her happy put her there. You put me there.
I hope you’re happy.