as an author i write the stories i was never in
i give my fairy tales endings in which the hero always wins but mostly loses.
you see, i like to keep my dreams a tad bit realistic
but sometimes i just want it to be more dramatic.
a plot in which everyone dies but me and you makes it feel a bit romantic.
maybe the one where i came back to life is a bit much.
i write stories to put myself in the life i want to live.
even if it means immense pain it is better than the strain of the one i'm in.
writing is my escape.
as a mathematician i calculate every action i take
every move i make is based on percentages
because i shouldn't take risks if the chances are too low
success cannot be reached without planning ahead
so i always sleep with one eye open.
two eyes is too much.
the numbers tell me so.
in my head i do the math and find out what the best path is in every situation.
there isn't a problem i can't solve without time and a calculator.
as a musician i compose life into the music i play
each note, each movement sways with a different type of emotion.
the composers are truly the ones who bring the motion into each phrase.
every rhythm repeats in my head till i feel the beat eventually
the music creates a new life i couldn't possibly describe in just one century,
so instead i just let the music live its own way.
as a liar, i make the world into what i wish it was.
every sentence comes out a bit different, a bit twisted because i feel like it should.
it makes sense to control a situation in which i never would have power otherwise.
yes, my life is built on lies but i promise i tell the truth.
or at least sometimes i do.
because when i tell people lies they think i am cool
they begin to live in the world that i wrote
and molded with deception.
the world i live in is full of the creation and imagination in my mind.
every building was first designed by me
the children are kind and follow the influence of their leader
and everyone abides by the stories i tell them.
the treat me like how i treat them
and everyone treats me differently.
now, there is one flaw in my monarchy.
you waltzed into the city i had oh so carefully crafted
and burned it.
the cops couldn't catch you
as the fire spread i watched you
all my plans had gone under attack by a single boy.
and my agenda had no time to stop if i wanted a perfect world.
i could no longer have a perfect world
you had destroyed my perfect world
but the worst part is-
i just let you.
i let you steal the future i had carefully picked out for myself
i let you behead all the leaders who i had taught to lead.
i let you tell the people the truth about their "democracy".
the only reason being was that you had changed me.
you made me take all my next plans and shred them.
your face made me let the people see that i am truly a let-down and
you caused me to no longer focus on my own interests.
because suddenly you became more interesting than them.
the world i couldn't create was the world with you in it.
it was not perfect and smooth it was spontaneous.
everyone in the city was happy and rambunctious
and angry and sad and mean but
your city was so much more fun.
you hadn't meant for it to be fun but it was.
you had the world i wanted.
the world i just couldn't create.