You know how they say that everything becomes much clearer and all your life flashes right in front of your eyes when you meet death or when you think you're about to die?
I don't know if that is true or not but I'm pretty sure about one thing.
See someone you have loved in that situation and you will bear the weight of the whole world, sorrow deeper than the oceans and despair darker than your thoughts at that situation.
You know what the worst part was, that hope you had in me till the last moment.
I saw that hope fade away as your lungs filled with water when the car dragged you underwater and I couldn't free you from the debris of the car holding you to your seat.
In those dark freezing waters flashed all our sweet memories, our first kiss, the first time we met,the time we shared our first night together and I saw the color flush out of your beautiful face.
I could see my love turning into a lifeless body, my heart beating against my chest louder than my screams.I wanted to go away with you, to leave this place.
I was waiting for that untimely death to take me away but my destiny had different plans. And I survived. I wasn't sure about it though as the guilt killed me anyways.
Days to weeks to months passed where all I wanted was to give up. I wanted to give up every day. But I couldn't leave him.
I just wish I could show you what our precious child turned out to become and how he grew up to detest me all through his remaining life. My punishment was to live on that day.
Yet I worked for our son, I struggled and brought him up against all his hatred for even in his anger I could see your innocence, and occasionally that amazing smile he got from his mother.
How I wish he grew up with his mother. He loves you. I love you. But today I lost him, in the battle for his motherland. I'm proud yet devastated. He died but his love for a mother never did.
He was my everything after you, he kept me hooked with life. I have lived alone for a long time now but I knew he was out there, he was out there. I was naive. I should have given up.
The moment he joined the armed forces I should have given up. The moment he joined the battle force I should have given up. The moment he called me amidst his battle days I should have given up.
But he left a grand-daughter whose mother perished alongside our son on the battlefield.
And you lived again in her. And I lived again with you.