"Be what you want to be!"
So long as it fit my vision.
"Oh, law school? Yeah, that's a great way to be who you want to be."
Then the same ones who told you pump the brakes on your dreams have the audacity to congratulate you for accomplishing everything you put your mind to...
"Take risks, build your safety net!"
Then you learn your safety net put you $175,000 in debt.
And while setting your net, you were unlucky enough to find someone you couldn't see your life without.
Against all odds, it's tragic.
She's the only one with an equal, yet complementary factory defect to yours.
It's a ring you can't afford.
And she needs you there.
To be present.
To raise a family.
To help achieve her dreams.
Dreams more deserving than your own.
She wants to be a lawyer.
Been that way since 7th grade.
And she's doing it.
1,000 miles from where you want to be.
1,000 miles from where you'd wanted to be since you were nine years old.
She knew that.
You told her when you met.
But she's everything.
The path you've sacrificed wove into her gorgeous story.
Now woven into her dreams.
Those dreams that she was brave enough to chase.
And you can't say the same.
To not use your safety net now?
So you try to talk yourself out of being angry.
Angry at everyone who wedged you into where you are.
Who told you to put up your net. And your angry for listening.
But you're grateful to have gotten this far.
But bitter to forfeit who you are.
Then angry you can't be more grateful.
What you have is objectively beautiful.
So why can't God give the grace of this feeling like destiny?
Why can't this safety be what I wanted all along?