I will learn Part 4
I will learn Part 4 stories
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adelinefecker
adelinefeckerDeep thoughts over coffee...
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
I will learn Part 4 (FINAL INSTALLMENT)-- Prose by Adeline Fecker

I will learn Part 4

Prose by adelinefecker

Jealousy is ugly I promise I’ll never wear it.

Instead I will learn what nonchalance feels like on my skin, and how tight it can pull my smile. Eventually I will find it comforting. I will learn to thrive off the deception and the control.

All I want is for you to believe me but not believe me.

To have you see through me. But if you were to do that, I would never learn. And I will learn. I promise I will learn to be happy for you.

But do not ask me to choreograph the way you hold hands,

or the way you kiss her lips so gently. Because I could show you how in ways she never could. I know how to do that. I do not need to learn how. No, what I need to learn is how to disappear.

I will learn how to disappear not only for you

but for my heart which is weak and tempted. I will shrug my shoulders and my bones will not quake with everything I still have inside me. And people will stop asking. I will learn.

I will take everything you have shown me and I will learn

what it means to love someone so deeply, what it takes to sacrifice everything you need, and to learn to be happy.

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