Sarah Miller's life ended the day Dean died. He had been in her life for ten years, and for those ten years she had been alive. She didn't even remember what life was like before him.
All her friends tried to sympathise, they tried to help her cope but she just didn't want to be fine, her only reason for living was gone.
Her therapist encouraged her to write her emotions down in a diary and remind herself only about the good parts of her life with him.
It wasn't hard, up until the end there had only been good memories. She wrote about his laugh, his careless and addictive laugh that never failed to brighten up her day.
She wrote about the abominations he made and called art, and how she hung them up and dared guests to say a word.
She wrote about his tendency to fix the broken things around him. How he fixed her broken heart in more ways than one.
A misplaced flier sparked an idea, to travel the world just like she and Dean had planned to before the end.
Her mother didn't understand, no one did. Her heart had been broken too many times and this one, she thought, might just do her in.
She went from historical sites in england to the lush countryside of France, from the hot sun of Africa to the cold snow of st Petersburg.
It was there that she saw him, Lucas Graham, a face from the past. A face so much like Dean's she teared up every time she saw him.
She alone knew why her heart broke each time she thought of him, it was because once upon a time she was going to marry Lucas Graham, once upon she was going to start a family with him.
But the obstacles had prevailed and now he was just someone she used to know.
When Lucas had seen Sarah again in Russia after so many years, he had wanted to ask so many questions, the first being, why she had broken his heart.
He soon came to realise that as far Sarah was concerned he had broken her heart. A series of enquiries later and the sordid truth was revealed.
His mother, ever the over protective witch had taken matters into her hands and decided a no name young woman like Sarah did not deserve her son who was heir to an empire.
She had orchestrated their break and stolen from him the greatest love of his life.
A surprise visit to Sarah's home revealed another heart wrenching discovery.
When he had met Sarah and her traveling team in Russia he had gotten the story that she was mourning someone called Dean,
he had assumed that Dean was a lover or a husband who had broken up with her.
But the pictures he saw displayed openly on her walls said a different story.
They told the story of a little boy with golden hair who was born with a weak heart.
In every one of those pictures, despite the hospital background and the IVs connected to him he always had a big big smile on his face.
As if he only ever had laughing moments.
Deans green eyes were wide and filled with wonder and they were so so much like his own. How could his mother have taken this away from him?
The chance to have loved such a beautiful boy.
His heart broke for Sarah, he had been sad for her grieve, but now, knowing who she'd grieved, the pain multiplied a thousand fold.
It took a while but Sarah forgave him for the past and gave him a chance of a future for them. There had been too much hurt, and pain.
He had always known that Sarah was the one for him, and he made that clear by marrying her.
And soon another bundle of joy, painfully small but already so well loved, arrived. This one they called Dawn, because she was the beginning of a new chapter for them.
Sarah had still been writing in her diary but once the pages had filled till one page remained she dropped it.
On the day they finally took Dawn home to their beach house she woke up before the dawn and walked to the beach and finally wrote in that last page.
She wrote to Dean about his new sister, he would've really loved her.
She told him that she would make sure Dawn knew that she had once had a brother called Dean, a brother with a smile that could light up the world.
A brother that had saved her mother in more ways than one.
A brother that despite his weak heart had the biggest capacity for love. She told him she would never forget, but it was time to let him go.
And with that she ended her diary entry and looked at the sky beginning to break dawn,
she felt her husband behind her as he put her newborn in her arms and walked to the sand pit a few feet away and lit the wood.
He took the diary and carefully placed it in the flame and walked back to her and sat behind her as he enfolded both his wife and daughter in his arms.
As she sat on that beach staring at the fire burn away her words, she watched the diary turn to ash and float up in the sky, she said her last goodbyes to her son,
imagining that the ash were going to heaven, to her son.
She whispered her last words, 'Dear Dean, you saved me in so many ways that you didn't even realise. I will always love you. I will never forget you.
' She squeezed Lucas' arm and her small, well wrapped, sleeping daughter.
'We, will never forget you. Goodbye Dean.'