he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck as I cup his bearded face with my hand.. I smile as he bites my neck and I turn around to face him. my hands run thru his hair as I move closer to kiss him,
i sigh and lean my head on his chest, he caresses my back as we stand there for a few moments. it’s the most peaceful feeling just being in his arms .. just spending a moment with him .. if there’s anything I’m grateful for then it’s him..
despite all his annoying habits, he still drives me crazy and I couldn’t ask for a more understanding partner.. I couldn’t ask for a more loving & caring partner who just by the way I reply to him notices that something isn’t right.. this is the love I’ve waited my whole life for..
as much as I preach about self love.. I’ve always felt inadequate because I don't have children..
it was just never the right time or the right guy and unfortunately when the right guy is right next to me, I’m too old to conceive.
it breaks my heart thinking about it and we’ve had several conversations about it but he never once has made me feel bad about it .. he’s worked so hard and created his empire on his own ..
I used to think that giving him a child would make his hard work worth it but he would always tell me that we together are enough and complete..
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make peace with the fact that I haven’t had children.. but I guess one can’t have everything.. the only thing one can do is be the best person you can be and help others whenever and as much you can.. respect everyone but don’t give them so much importance that they stab you in the back.. that’s something i learnt from him..
I’ve had many relationships but from the very beginning I always felt safest with him..
for a long time I denied it but as time went by I found that when something went wrong or I just needed to vent, he was the first person that I would call and he would always pick up.. no matter what time it was and no matter where in the world he was.. he would always pick up.. even when we weren’t together I could always rely on him..
he’s my pillar of strength and without him I’d be lost.
financially we’ve been blessed in abundance but we’ve both become less materialistic, now it’s the little things that matter the most.. like holding hands..
him putting his hand on my thigh when we sit side by side.. randomly going for a walk on a sunny afternoon.. watching the rain pelt down on the windows on a cold Friday evening..
him making me hot chocolate just the way I like it with whipped cream and sprinkles on top.. making our favorite meals for each other..
falling asleep whilst watching an episode of Gilmore Girls that we’ve already seen a hundred times..
things like this mean the most to us and each small moment we share makes me feel like I’m in Heaven..
emotionally we’ve both gone thru deep losses.. he lost his mom three years ago and I lost mine just a few months back.. the pain of losing a loved one is indescribable.
I always feared losing my mother but as I look back today, I feel so blessed to have had him by my side when I found out she was no more.. he didn’t say anything, he just hugged me.
I was having trouble sleeping after her passing and would catch up on sleep during the day and instead of going to work he would come and lie in bed with me..
most of the time he wouldn’t say anything because he first hand knew how bad I felt but just his presence was the one thing that helped me move on..
we escaped to London for a little while after my mother’s passing, he said I needed a break.. I agreed and for the first time he took me to the house that he grew up in..
a beautiful, two story, wooden house just like the ones you see in films.. the walls were lined with photographs taken in his childhood.. moments he’d shared with his parents & siblings..
his playroom where he played as a child with his cousins was exactly the same.. his childhood room still had the same posters and the bed sheet. he opened up to me about his childhood..
something he hadn’t done before and I fell in love with him even more.. this was the most vulnerable side to him.
it was the most beautiful trip we’ve ever taken and possibly will ever take..
we were the only ones there and the first night we were there, we made love on the floor next to the fireplace as it snowed outside.. it was one of our best nights..
he caressed me like he had never done before.. kissed every spot of my neck and didn’t stop till he was tired.. tenderly sucked on my breasts and played with my nipples as I ran my hands thru his hair and rubbed his cheek with my thumb.. there was something different about him that night and i think I saw the most gentle side of him..
he was never one to openly express how he feels towards me.. I know how he feels thru his actions.. the way he calls me when I’m out for longer than expected to make sure I’m okay, the way he asks if I’ve eaten even tho he knows I probably have..
the way he gives me forehead kisses before he leaves for work.. the list of sweet little things he does will take me a whole day to write down but I’m just blessed to have him..
he’s my home.. my guiding light.. my protector.. my everything.. I’d do anything for him.. i thank God everyday for giving me this man.. for making him mine..