Thirty Seconds Left to Live

Thirty...

Twenty-Nine...

Twenty-eight...

That's how many seconds I have left Mothers shield their children From my pitiful body Covered in new and rotten scars Hoping to get high one last time.

Twenty-Seven...

Twenty-Six...

Twenty-Five...

I wish I knew what it was like To have those warm fuzzy thoughts Swirling around in my mind like fluffy cotton candy All I know is darkness as the demons chant If this is what it's like to die Then what's it like to be alive?

Twenty-Four....

Twenty-Three...

Twenty-Two...

Mama where did you go? All those men came in our home Holding me tight making me squirm Telling me I was their one and only baby.

Twenty-One...

Twenty...

Nineteen...

Mama why did you scream that you hated me? Was I the one with the devil inside? Are you the angel I could never be?

Eighteen...

Seventeen....

Sixteen....

I tell myself I hate everyone Filling up my mind with chemicals Trying to keep from feeling all the harm Loving you has caused me I scream how much I hate you But Mama why does my heart hurt for you?

Fifteen...

Fourteen...

Thirteen...

I feel the most alive I've felt in days On cloud nine I'm so high The weight of my broken body Left far behind.

Twelve...

Eleven...

Ten...

Mama I didn't mean no harm I'm sorry for all the pain I caused I deserve all those hateful words All those black and blue bruises But Mama could you hold me one last time?

Nine...

Eight...

Seven...

My blood is like thick cement I don't like the way my heart flutters The black things dance their evil red eyes agleam As they smile with sick delight Can't you hold me tight? Give me one last kiss goodnight?

Six...

Five...

Four....

Mama isn't coming No one will hold me tight No one to kiss me goodnight Death calls me into his cold arms Telling me he would do no harm But I still wish Mama were here instead.

Three...

Two...

One...

Time is up Death is calling for me to come The demons have cheered for they have won You were right about me Mama I'm going into the dark where I belong.