First Love (A poem about him)
First Love (A poem about him) button poetry stories

_itsmegracie Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
As I sit here and write these words I'm brought to tears, Because the love of my life is no longer here,

First Love (A poem about him)

As I sit here and write these words I'm brought to tears,

Because the love of my life is no longer here,

You see he's probably out living his life,

While I'm here writing about my struggle to strive,

To strive without him,

Because my life revolved around him,

I didn't walk in but rather I fell in love with him,

Like that head first kinda fall,

The one where you hit your head so hard you get amnesia,

I forgot everything I stood for,

Cuz I couldn't stand no more,

Struggling to get back on my feet,

I'd plead with him,

Stop making me feel like this,

Constantly terrified that I wouldn't be able to think or operate on my own,

I became some sort of a clone.

But for some reason every time we'd talk I'd get butterflies in my stomach,

I was so nervous,

Nervous that you wouldn't love me as much as I loved you,

I know it's hard to believe but baby I got you,

Or rather I had you,

Until I let you slip out of my grasp,

Cuz you told me you weren't ready to walk down that path,

I wanted you to say it like you meant it,

It might seem crazy but I wanted you to say you love God,

At least as much as I do,

Or that you were willing to get there,

Which you were,

But not at that time,

And I respected that so then why did things get weird.

I remember our last conversation,

Pretty sure that through all the silence,

You could hear the vibrations in my voice cuz I was crying,

Actually I was choking back the tears that your words had just created,

See cuz you told me to move on,

Never thought those words would hit me so strong,

First love you didn't want my love no more,

How could this be,

I thought it'd be clear to see that even I fall short too,

But for some reason you wanted me to leave,

Never thought I'd cry over a guy but my love you broke me,

Not knowing how to react so I didn't,

Unless you consider isolation a reaction,

I didn't want to see nobody,

Hear nobody,

Or even be somebody,

And as a result of that I just turned into some body,

Aimlessly roaming the town,

Afraid that my frown would scare more people away,

Cuz it had to be my fault,

Or rather the clone's fault,

You see her tongue was a double-edged sword,

Ready to cut anybody who came at her incorrect,

Filled with so much sadness it turned into rage,

Funny thing is I wasn't even mad at you,

I was furious with myself for pressuring you.

It took me a long time to get to this point but I still love you,

Not from a place of I want you back,

Cuz I'm getting tired of running around on this mental track called confusion,

First love I want the best for you,

Regardless of what that means,

Baby I'm busting at the seams to let you know that I want you to be happy,

Even if it's not with me,

I'm tempted to say otherwise,

But I figured it's wise to just move on,

So don't worry the strange texts stop today,

Go on and be happy without me.

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